Leadership is about connecting with people by establishing and fostering an authentic relationship in pursuit of a common purpose. Through authenticity, people know that their leaders mean what they say and do what they mean. But leadership is so much more than being authentic. Leaders demonstrate through actions of commitment, courage, and compassion their innate beliefs that the collective well-being and productivity of people are crucial in successfully accomplishing goals. In such an environment, bosses and subordinates become one team ready to undertake efforts to achieve common goals, and to collectively overcome obstacles.
Leaders need to model the way to show that believing in and acknowledging the value of people’s contributions are vital to organizational success. One of the most fundamental ways for a leader to relate to those they lead is to show recognition or appreciation of efforts. Leaders who say “thank you” on a consistent basis for work completed or efforts in progress not only exhibit good manners, but also demonstrate consideration and respect for others to emulate. One thing is certain: expressing thanks must be authentic to foster good relationships. Saying “thanks” must not come across as insincere or sarcastic.
Saying “thank you” may be viewed as “small stuff,” but it is exactly the small stuff that can often make a tremendous difference in the relationship between leader and employee. So, let’s talk more about the “small stuff.” When I refer to “small stuff,” I don’t mean insignificant or unimportant—but rather actions that are basic and fundamental, and often overlooked. When a leader makes a mistake or an error in judgment, apologizing or saying “I’m sorry” is fundamental to establishing a credible and trust-based relationship. In my 36-year Federal career, I had many different bosses. There was not one instance in which I ever thought less of a boss when he or she admitted to a mistake, apologized, and took responsibility. In fact, I thought more of them. Unfortunately, we’ve probably all known bosses who didn’t take responsibility for mistakes or passed the blame onto someone else when things didn’t go well. A boss or leader who doesn’t assume that kind of responsibility ends up creating an environment of distrust. And more importantly, the resulting loss of trust and respect is extremely difficult to recoup. So remember—taking on accountability as a leader, especially when things go wrong, speaks volumes in demonstrating to your people that they can trust you and always believe in you.
Marshall Goldsmith talks about the importance of leaders showing appreciation and apologizing in his book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. Goldsmith states, “Thanking works because it expresses one of our most basic emotions . . . . when someone does something nice for you they expect gratitude—and they think less of you for withholding it.” Goldsmith refers to apologizing as “The Major Move.” He states, “It is the centerpiece of my work with executives who want to get better—because without the apology there is no recognition that mistakes have been made, there is no announcement to the world of the intention to change, and most important there is no emotional contract between you and the people you care about.”
This is the first in a series of posts that will discuss ways in which the leader can create and foster a relationship. I welcome all your comments on the post.
Questions for online comment:
What are your thoughts on the importance of showing appreciation and apologizing to the leader/employee relationship?
To what extent is a leader showing vulnerability when he or she apologizes? When a leader shows vulnerability, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
In addition to showing appreciation and apologizing, what are other actions that good leaders exhibit that might be considered “small stuff” by the definition above, but are extremely important to the leader/employee relationship?
Leaders need to model the way to show that believing in and acknowledging the value of people’s contributions are vital to organizational success. One of the most fundamental ways for a leader to relate to those they lead is to show recognition or appreciation of efforts. Leaders who say “thank you” on a consistent basis for work completed or efforts in progress not only exhibit good manners, but also demonstrate consideration and respect for others to emulate. One thing is certain: expressing thanks must be authentic to foster good relationships. Saying “thanks” must not come across as insincere or sarcastic.
Saying “thank you” may be viewed as “small stuff,” but it is exactly the small stuff that can often make a tremendous difference in the relationship between leader and employee. So, let’s talk more about the “small stuff.” When I refer to “small stuff,” I don’t mean insignificant or unimportant—but rather actions that are basic and fundamental, and often overlooked. When a leader makes a mistake or an error in judgment, apologizing or saying “I’m sorry” is fundamental to establishing a credible and trust-based relationship. In my 36-year Federal career, I had many different bosses. There was not one instance in which I ever thought less of a boss when he or she admitted to a mistake, apologized, and took responsibility. In fact, I thought more of them. Unfortunately, we’ve probably all known bosses who didn’t take responsibility for mistakes or passed the blame onto someone else when things didn’t go well. A boss or leader who doesn’t assume that kind of responsibility ends up creating an environment of distrust. And more importantly, the resulting loss of trust and respect is extremely difficult to recoup. So remember—taking on accountability as a leader, especially when things go wrong, speaks volumes in demonstrating to your people that they can trust you and always believe in you.
Marshall Goldsmith talks about the importance of leaders showing appreciation and apologizing in his book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. Goldsmith states, “Thanking works because it expresses one of our most basic emotions . . . . when someone does something nice for you they expect gratitude—and they think less of you for withholding it.” Goldsmith refers to apologizing as “The Major Move.” He states, “It is the centerpiece of my work with executives who want to get better—because without the apology there is no recognition that mistakes have been made, there is no announcement to the world of the intention to change, and most important there is no emotional contract between you and the people you care about.”
This is the first in a series of posts that will discuss ways in which the leader can create and foster a relationship. I welcome all your comments on the post.
Questions for online comment:
What are your thoughts on the importance of showing appreciation and apologizing to the leader/employee relationship?
To what extent is a leader showing vulnerability when he or she apologizes? When a leader shows vulnerability, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
In addition to showing appreciation and apologizing, what are other actions that good leaders exhibit that might be considered “small stuff” by the definition above, but are extremely important to the leader/employee relationship?
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