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Asking "Why?"

3/2/2014

2 Comments

 
Question mark
How many times do we catch ourselves asking the “Why” question?  We start off that way because we want to quickly solve problems by figuring out the causes of an event. We often use “why” questions because we want to get to the point and solve a problem quickly. For example, parents often ask their kids why they did not do their homework if a progress report shows missing assignments. But what many of us sometimes forget is that the “why” question often comes with a built-in bias.  That bias is an assumption that the truth is already known, and the recipient is often asked to defend that particular truth. To put someone in a defensive position may not be the best way to obtain a true understanding of events, and may impede further meaningful conversation. Vogt, Brown, and Isaacs (2003), in their article, “The Art of Powerful Questions,” caution “unless a ‘why’ question is carefully crafted, it can easily evoke a defensive response, as people try to justify their response rather than proceed in a spirit of inquiry.” Starting off with “Tell me what happened on those days that the progress report showed missing assignments” may avoid preconceived notions and enable a more meaningful conversation.

Vogt, Brown, and Isaacs (2003) write that “the usefulness of the knowledge we acquire and the effectiveness of the actions we take depend upon the quality of the question we ask and that questions open the door to dialogue and discovery.”  The authors call this the “Art of Powerful Questions.”  So next time you phrase a question, think about whether it opens the door to dialogue and discovery.

—M. Ugone

2 Comments
Rosy Baldwin link
3/22/2014 03:35:27 pm

This article about "Why?" is straight to the point! Indeed, if we want to get to the truth of any situation, we must drop any hint of accusatory overtones to our inquiry. A person may have many reasons for not doing what we expect of them, but isn't it much better to hear it straight from them, unvarnished rather than hearing an explanation that we have already "written" for them in our heads?

Most people want to tell the truth and sincerely do not want to let others down. But by putting them on the spot and peppering them with "courtroom" questions about "why why why" did you do this, we might never get to the real truth, the real reason for unsatisfactory behavior.

I must add, this blog is thought-provoking and covers many areas of business and social interactions that we often take for granted. Kudos to the fresh thinking that one finds on here!

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Mary Ugone link
3/23/2014 06:15:19 am

Rosy,

Thank you for taking the time to read the blog and post comments. If you would like us to write about other related subjects, please let us know.

Mary

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