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Speaking Genuinely

12/15/2013

2 Comments

 
Woman and man talking
How do people make that human connection and establish relationships?  Fundamentally, you connect with people by communicating through your written or spoken words, or through mediums, such as music or art.  For this narrative, we will narrow our topic to spoken words.  When you speak to others, you establish a relationship that may result in something or nothing, depending on how you show up during the conversation or dialogue.  Listening with an open mind allows for a free flow of exchange of information or ideas.  Fully listening to the other speaker and not thinking about what you are going to say in response provides the foundation for an authentic conversation.  Avoiding preconceived notions and restraining biases reinforces objectivity during the conversation.  Guarding negative emotional reactions and using respectful words supports a civil discourse.  Most of all, being genuine during conversations underpins the success of maintaining meaningful relationships with others.

Susan Scott describes in her book Fierce Conversations (2004) seven principles of fierce conversations, which at closer reading greatly resemble some important coaching techniques and skills.  One of those principles particularly resonates with the whole notion of authenticity and genuineness.  “Come about from behind yourself into the conversation and make it real,” because Scott states that “unreal conversations are expensive for the individual and the organization. “  However, not only may an organization or individual take the wrong direction, but more importantly, unreal conversations fuel uncertainty and distrust, which are hard to overcome once they occur.

So next time you speak with another person, show up with an open mind, avoid preconceptions and restrain biases, guard negative emotions, use respectful words, and be genuine!  That is, if you want to make a connection.

—M. Ugone

2 Comments
Roanne Baldwin link
1/29/2014 05:52:18 am

Listening is an art unto itself and requires a genuine desire to communicate with others on a meaningful level. What a great blog post Ms. Ugone! It inspires me to practice listening with the zen of "mindfulness" instead of just thinking what my next response to the other person will be. If you don't listen, you don't learn. :)

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M. Ugone link
2/4/2014 12:09:52 am

Roanne,

Thank you for taking the time to provide feedback. I appreciate your comments. Keith and I welcome any suggestions on future blog topics.

Best to you!

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    A blog about leadership's underlying foundation— connecting with people.

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